I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just cut my nipple shaving
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
