so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
