my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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