i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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