you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
