im drinking this country out of the recession.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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