I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
