I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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