How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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