Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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