So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
