I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
