Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
