I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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