I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
honey bunches of taint.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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