Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Where is the hickey?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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