I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
