she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize