dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
