Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
