That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
