Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
