i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
