dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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