i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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