I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
