I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Welp...herpes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
