And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
