So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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