its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
