My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
