I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
