he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize