he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
