so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
