Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
