3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
