I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize