I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
