All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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