I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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