can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
