you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
