Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
