never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i think i just lost a toe
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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