conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
