My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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