is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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