woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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