i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
