Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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