what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
