$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Randomize