youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
