Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
