I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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