Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
