i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
