Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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