the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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