This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
